I Will Always Struggle With This.

Those of you that knew taking a two week break from working out was a bad idea, raise your hand. I’m raising my hand. It was the the worst Idea I’ve had since starting my blog. I honestly felt it was the right decision.  It was supposed to be a way for my body to prepare for a pregnancy. Unfortunately, it did more harm than good. Not working out has made it more difficult to get back into my routine. I’ve mentioned my issue with this in my Staying Active post. You’d think I would’ve learned my lesson by now, obviously I haven’t. 

I’m still making the effort to walk two times a week for about an hour and a half, and I dance with Emerald in the morning; It’s become a regular thing now. We pick up toys and I make the bed before she jumps all over our sheets. I love listening to music when I clean so I’ll put Pandora on the speaker box and we just dance our little booties off. But that’s as far as I go. No more squats or lunges, I haven’t done one plank in I don’t know how long. It’s really sad to see all of my progress disappear. The good news is that I’m not gaining any weight, so that’s the upside to being in my first trimester. But I still look in the mirror and criticize myself for not doing more. On top of being anxious about being pregnant in my first trimester, I can add being negative about my body (which is affecting my self esteem) to the list of what not to do when you’re trying to conceive. 

I have been super tired the past few weeks.  It’s to the point where any activity I try to do, I completely drain every ounce of energy I have. I can’t even go up and down the stairs without being out of breath.  All I want to do is sleep and I would, if I didn’t have a toddler jumping all over me telling me “mommy, wake up.” I have been pretty lucky, Emerald is right by side when we  take two hour naps, so I’m thankful for that. I keep wondering if this exhaustion is normal because I can’t remember feeling this tired when I was pregnant with my daughter. It could be that I had no choice, I was working at the time so I didn’t have a bed staring at me all day. There are some days I get a mini break from being exhausted but those are pretty rare. I wake up all rested and all I want to do is clean everything, workout, and go shopping. It’s as though my body is begging for some sort of activity, anything to get me moving, but that lasts about an hour. I make breakfast and after we eat I’m ready for a two hour nap. The fatigue is real. 

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Another reason why I kind of slowed down is I want to be sure the types of exercise that I’m use to doing are safe for pregnancy. Pregnancy is so complex. There’s so much going on right now that pushing your body too far can disrupt or even damage this delicate process. I notice when I do squats my lower stomach aches right after and it takes a minute for the discomfort to go away. That can be a little concerning. Also, I’ve noticed that I’m out of breath shortly after I start my routine and I’m not sure if that should be happening this is normal in early pregnancy.  As worried as I am about being safe, I understand that exercise is very important during pregnancy. I know I need to get back into it and eventually I will, even if it’s a little at a time. 

This has and always will be a struggle for me. But I am determined to work towards my goal, even if I hit a few bumps along the way. There are so many hours in a day, and like most mamas I try to do as much as I can in those days. From taking care of a toddler, hopefully growing a new life inside my belly, to making sure that our household is running smoothly (even if I haven’t taken the husbands work shirts to the cleaners), and after all of that still try and fit in workouts. I’m trying my hardest and sometimes I fall short but it doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying. If you’re like me and you struggle with working out, know that I’m right there with you. 

Love, Mama. 

 

Taking It Easy, While I Make A Baby.

Taking a break from working out this week. I know! I know! I’m setting myself up to fail, but this is for a good reason. We just had our I.U.I and we are in our two week wait, so I want to make sure I give my body time to make a baby. I don’t want to put too much strain on my body that might affect our chances of conceiving. Thats understandable right? I would try to walk but with this heat. I’m not going to force myself.  Booty exercises are going to be put on hold for a minute too. I hope you can understand my position and I hope to get back to working out soon. Once we find out if we are pregnant or not, that’s when I will start up again.

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Since I won’t be working out as hard as I've been for the next two weeks, I plan to work on my daily diet. I’m going to have to find strength within to control my eating habits. First hurdle to overcome is soda. My goal is to stop drinking soda completely. I’ve had some progress with quitting. I actually went a week without drinking a tall glass of Coke. Although, I did have Sprite and Sierra Mist but since I don’t like them very much it wasn’t hard to take just a few sips. I did have a moment of weakness.  I caved last weekend and had a Coke when we went to lunch. But since I want to be healthy for a baby, it won’t be hard for me to give up soda. It’s giving up bread that’s going to make me sad.  Cutting back on pastas is going to be tough too, but I know I can do it. I know if I make these changes now, theres a good chance I can make it a permanent change in my diet. Well, at least I hope it does. 

Love, Mama.

I had to include this photo, because it was so cute. 

I had to include this photo, because it was so cute. 

It's All In My Head.

Another bad week. These weeks are becoming more frequent, I’m worried what will happen if this continues.  I’m really trying to keep active but it’s getting harder and harder. It seems like most of my day is spent hiding from the sun and I’m not sure where the rest of my day goes. I’m really trying to move past this laziness but nothing seems to be working. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to leave my house. 

I can’t seem to stay motivated. I do this thing on the days I don’t workout where I stand in front of the mirror and I start to criticize myself. I can see the rolls on my back slowly getting bigger and watching my butt sag down to the floor. It’s like the mirror is trying to tell me something, but not that I’m the fairest of them all, you know? More like “get your ass up and do some squats.” I know all of my progress won’t go away just because I skipped my workout. I know that’s not how it works. What I didn’t understand was how getting into shape affects you mentally. In my opinion my mind is doing all of the sabotage. I know my body is fully capable of working out daily, it’s my mind that keeps me from getting up and doing squats. Does anyone else feel like that? Or am I just crazy? That’s what’s keeping me distracted and because I’m not focused, nothing gets done. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I thought it was the actual working out part that would be the hardest: the squats and push ups. but that’s the easy part. Exercising only lasts for about an hour. This mind thing has me all messed up, and it’s constant. I go back and forth with myself. “Yes! Its working, keep doing it.” And then the next minute I’m telling my husband I’m disgusted with how my body looks.

Oh and clothes are my enemy. I can’t seem to find clothes that fit me right, so that adds to my negativity. One of the reasons I wanted to post my fitness journey on my blog was to keep myself on track. I was hoping I’d feel bad if I were to give up. It’s not working. Is this the 3 month blues or something? I’m not even sure if that’s a term in the fitness world. Is there a name for what I’m going through? Also, I feel like my body has stopped responding to my workouts. I haven’t seen much of an improvement in my butt or my tummy. That’s the saddest part about this, I’m more focused on toning my body than I am about losing weight and I can’t even do that. Maybe it’s because my body is use to my routine? I might need to switch it up here and there just so I’m still getting sore. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve felt like my workouts are doing anything for my muscles. That might be the next step, it could be just I’ve worked out all the muscles that squats target. What if it’s my form? Or maybe I’m not doing enough. What if I added some weights? That might give me better results. All of these “what if’s” and I don’t know where to start. Ugh.

I really want my fitness posts to be inspiring instead of sounding like there’s no hope, because there is obviously. I need to remember why I’m doing this and what I can do to improve my attitude towards working out. I’m going to start next week with a positive attitude. Looking forward to the week with an open mind and try to let go of all the negativity. I want my fitness journey to be a positive experience. My goal for this week is to workout three times.  No complaining, no excuses.  Even if it’s just a walk with my munchkin. So, I’m going to forget this week, plan out next week and hope it turns out better than I expected. That’s all I can do.

Love, Mama. 

Staying Active

This week has been difficult. I don’t understand what is going on with me. I’m going to blame the weather as to why I’m in this funk. That’s the only explanation I can think of. I’ve mentioned before that I can’t function when the temperature is above 75 degrees. And now that it's officially summer in California theres no way of getting around it. The sun is not my friend. That hasn’t always been the case. I use to love summer but now I despise it. It sucks the life out of me and I just want to lay in a pool and never get out. This week the heat has really picked up and I haven’t wanted to workout because it’s too damn hot. I usually workout in the morning, that way I can shower and put on makeup and run errands if I have to. It’s just not practical working out later in the day with a full face of makeup. I’d have to jump in the shower right after, and I like taking a shower right before bed. I love the feeling of “ah” when I’m fresh out of the shower, then getting into bed. That’s the main reason I like working out in the morning. Plus I have other things to do during the day so I can’t just schedule a workout session in the middle of the day. I might need to rethink that plan.  If I go on like this, I’ll definitely stop working out.  

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Everyday this week I’ve had to drag myself out of bed and push myself to do some sort of exercise. I’m so tired.  And because of that, everything is falling apart, except for my blog. The house is a mess because I haven’t had the energy to clean it. Laundry hasn’t been done, so Emerald has been wearing onesies to bed, just the plain white ones. All of her colorful princess pjs are dirty. I haven’t been up for cleaning, and the husband isn’t to happy about it. I was able to get some squats in. Today I did planks. I’m hoping to get one more day in just so I can say I did my regular three day workout. But lately we’ve been getting up at 9 a.m. and by that time, its 78 outside. So walking is out of the question: too much sun for the munchkin and too hot for mama. And all I want to do is run errands and be home before 1 p.m. so I can beat the heat. 

I’m really disappointed in myself. Last week, I worked out four days and I thought I could keep it up.  Not this week. Luckily, we get a break from the heat in the next two days, so maybe I can get back into the swing of things and finish out the week strong. I understand that there are going to be days, even weeks like this when I don’t feel like doing anything.  So instead of squats or push ups, I walk. I make sure not to just sit on the couch doing nothing. I stay indoors and I walk.  I go to the grocery store and walk around for about an hour. I know it sounds funny but it’s air conditioned and I’m not tempted to just sit and snack all day. I would go to Target. I can spend hours in there, but I can’t resist temptation so Target is out of the question. 

 

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It only takes a week to forget all of the hard work you’ve done in the past few months. Just like that, you’re telling yourself you want to get back into shape, and it starts all over again.This is what happened the last time I wanted to get in shape. Summer hit and my exercise routine came to a complete halt. Then I gained everything I lost and then some. I need to stay motivated. I need to stay active. Everyday I check my health app on my phone to see how many steps I did.  I’m trying to keep above 5,000 steps if I don’t do some sort of muscle building workout. I  might have to rethinking my morning workouts and switch them to evening workouts. 

Whatever I do, I need to make sure I don’t stop. I have to keep going, I want to reach the point where working out is like eating or sleeping. I want it to be natural for me instead of a hassle or something I can skip. So I need to come up with a better plan for the next several months of Summer. My husband  wanted a bike for Father’s Day so maybe we can go for bike rides. That’s an excellent way to burn off calories while building muscle.

Love, Mama.

Two Months In

It’s been about two months since I started working out. Here’s what I’ve learned since my last post; it’s kind of impossible for me to workout four times, and walk three times a week. That was an unrealistic goal. I was overreaching. For right now anyways. There’s something that always comes up as to why I miss a day. So I’ve decide I’m not going to beat myself up about it, that would be counter productive. As long as I do three days of at home workouts a week that’s good enough. I’ve managed to get myself to doing three reps of each set, which is good. When I first started I could only do one set. So I’m proud of myself for increasing my reps. 

So going back to what I said in my first post about how I can eat anything in moderation, so long as I workout? Well, that was complete bullshit. I honestly believed I could but I realized that I’m almost thirty and not twenty five anymore. I guess it’s true what doctors say, your body changes the older you get. It doesn’t seem like I’m losing weight like I thought I was. At first I lost two pounds in a month. Which was amazing but now the scale says I’ve gained weight. I’m eating more, which is frustrating because I didn’t eat this much before, but now I want to constantly be eating. Most of the time it isn’t bad. But pizza has somehow been added to my regular diet. I know that’s not helping. Also, I’m snacking a lot. Could it be that I’m bored? Or does this happen when you start to workout? Like it’s your body’s way of replacing the fat you’re burning off? Or restoring the calories you lose? I don’t know, but something is going on. I really need to take a step back and re-evaluate my diet.

If I could control my eating habits things would be going a lot smoother. I’ve noticed a change in my booty though. Slight, but noticeable. Which is better than nothing. Growing my butt has been my main motivator. You’ve seen all of those sexy butts on instagram, no point in lying. I catch myself looking at them a little too hard for a little too long, know what I mean. That’s what I want my butt to look like. So It’s great to see that my hard work is paying off. I can’t say the same for my stomach. The infamous baby pouch. There’s something about working on my abs that I’m just not understanding. I try to do sit-ups and planks.  But for some reason I haven’t noticed any firmness in that area. I guess ab workouts are a little intimidating to me. I never know if I’m doing them correctly. When I’m doing my sit-ups, I can tell that my form is off, so most of the time I skip abs altogether. I’ve said before that if I can’t feel like I’ve been working out then I’m either doing something wrong, or I’m not doing enough. And it’s probably both. That’s something I need to work on and fast. I can’t have a sexy butt and a not so sexy baby pouch. I’ll try anything to get rid of my baby pouch at this point. 

Maybe running? I know running isn’t good for your joints, or so I’ve heard. There was a time where I liked running, but that was a long time ago. Now I can’t even run after my daughter without falling to the floor with chest pains. Ok, so I’m being dramatic. But I can’t run for long. At least not long enough to burn a substantial amount of calories. I’m out a breath shortly after I start jogging, and the next day my hips and legs are in pain. So maybe if I slowly ease myself into running, my muscles will respond better. It’s the only type of cardio I know how to do. So it’s something I might need to include in my morning workouts, especially if I want to build up my endurance. Another thing with running is the weather. Can’t really run when it’s too cold, or too hot. I could probably use that when I’m trying to sell my husband on me signing up for a gym membership. 

I’m writing this post a few weeks late. Sorry, only because I have a few topics I write about and I want to make sure I don’t neglect any. The progress photos were taken in the middle of April and the beginning of June. Its really hard to get the exact same photo with the same pose. So bare with me. In these photos you can’t really see the progress but I feel like its because the spacing between me and the camera  and the angle is off. But I can see a slight difference in person, which is encouraging. I have to keep reminding myself this is a marathon not a sprint. That’s always a good way to look at things when you’re trying to reach a goal.

Can you see the difference? I apologize for the inconsistent photos. I'll try to get better pictures of the same poses. From left to right, April 25th and June 8th. I wanted to add photos from May 16th but the poses were all off. It was difficult to compare the two dates, it actually looks like I gained weight in that month, but I know it was the placement of my camera. Next progress pictures they will be accurate, I promise. 

Love, Mama.

A Family Affair

The best way for me to keep up with exercising is to have partner. Unfortunately, my life partner, the love of my life, my supposed best friend will not workout with me. He’s tired when he gets home from work and wants to relax. So going on a walk is out the question. I don’t want to workout with him anyway, he gets home after six and I like working out in the morning. Still, I need a partner. I need someone to keep me on track. To remind me that staying in bed isn’t going to give me the results I want. I need someone that is committed to getting into shape like I am.

Who better to workout with than your siblings? That’s right, I’m working out with my brother and sister. My sister suggested that we work out together, and I thought it was a perfect idea. The three of us had the time, the kids could play with each other and I know we are all on the same activity level. We meet on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s most of the time. My brother is more of the expert on how to workout correctly, making sure we are targeting our problem areas. My sister and I go with the flow of things, making sure we look cute doing the exercises. But I know I don’t look cute. What’s that lyric? “Run’n with no makeup on,  that’s not the prettiest, no I won’t take it wrong.” I don’t think that’s it, I'm no Drake, but pretty good huh? You can laugh. I did.  

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Anyways, our mornings start like this; everyone meets at my house, we walk down to the bike path, then we head to the park and do our exercises. All while lugging our babies around. You’d think that once we got to the park the kids would be happy with playing on the slides but no. My munchkin is throwing sand all over herself, my nephew is taking off in the other direction, my niece is being a daredevil. The only one that wants to workout with us is my nephew Oliver. He gets down on the mats and does crunches and push ups, which I think is great. We all agree that it’s important for us to keep our kids active. So it’s important for us to lead by example. Getting outside walking, jumping, playing they see us doing it and just like little ducklings they will follow. It is hard though, trying to do sit ups and watching the kids. As long as they aren’t sitting on a bench with an iPad we’re happy.  We have to keep these kids adventurous. That's for another post. 

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Our plan is to increase reps. We want to build up our endurance so eventually we can start running. It’s all part of the process, we know that our muscles heal faster with repetition so we want to keep challenging ourselves. I believe that if I’m not sore then it’s not working or I’m not doing it right. I’m not sure where I heard that or read it. Kind of like if you ain’t hurt’n you ain’t try’n. Silly, I know.  But we know it’s one step at a time, I’m trying not to over do it. I know we’ll get there. Especially when we are supporting each other, how can we fail? Working out together has been  fun. It’s our family time. The kids get to bond together. I get to spend time with my sister and brother. It’s a win, win. Update photos coming soon. 

Love, Mama.

 

Working it Out

I guess you could say this is the second part to my Mom Attire post. I have weight issues to an extent. I understand that my body will never be the same after having my daughter and I’m fine with that. What I’m not ok with is the pouch that is leftover. I know it’s my fault, I should’ve worked out while I was pregnant and when I got the ok to workout once she was born. There’s really no excuse, it’s my fault plain and simple.

For a minute I was working out, we had a wedding to go to so I wanted to look as good as possible. I worked out at home for about 10 minutes then walked for about 30 minutes every other day. Before you think to yourself, 10 minutes isn’t going to give her results, but it did. I remember someone saying that it’s not about how long you workout, it’s about how well you workout. 

This was at the wedding in July, 2017

This was at the wedding in July, 2017

I was on a role. Ten minutes before the baby woke up and then a morning walk after she had her breakfast. That was our routine. Then summer hit. I stopped walking because it was 85 at 7 in the morning. Walking in the heat with an infant was not on the top of my to do list. So that’s when I started gaining weight. My body needs the exercise, I can eat anything with moderation as long as I work out. Also I was breastfeeding, doctors say that while breastfeeding you will continue to drop the baby weight because your body is working overtime to produce milk. I know the combination of the two was why I was able to get into better shape quicker than I expected. 

So I’m no longer working out or breastfeeding (even though I still eat like I’m breastfeeding). Of course the weight is back. I would have to say I have a few problem areas. The one that bothers me the most is my shoulder area. That’s the first place I’ve notice I store the most fat. Next would be the lower part of my stomach.  You know, the infamous baby pouch. Last but not least my back. Oh and my butt, that’s where my fat travels away from because as of right now, it’s flat.  Flat as a flapjack on a frying pan. There are few things that need to happen in order for me to get back in shape. 

  1. Food intake
  2. Exercise
  3. Sleep (hardest of them all) 
  4. Scheduling

I’m only a mom with a personal goal. I am not a nutritionist, or a personal trainer, or a doctor. I get most of my workouts on youtube, and I start small. This is what I found that works for me. My plan is to workout at least 4 times a week and walk every other day. There are times where I need a break, a day to relax or to run errands, but for the most part I will be sticking to my routine. I’m the type of person that exaggerates how busy a day can be, so I need to schedule my workouts in between my busy days so I’m not overwhelmed and start skipping days. 

For me, exercising is the most important part to staying in shape. I know I need to cut out soda as well. I want to be clear, I’m not going on a diet. I know I can’t do diets. It only makes me want the bad stuff more. I know I can get in shape without being on a diet, I’ve done it before. Cutting out soda completely is my first goal. Once I control my intake of soda then I’ll work on what I eat. I’m going to put this on my blog for motivation.  Something to keep me on track to fulfilling my goal on getting healthier. I will be posting progress photos here and also weigh-ins. Now I’m feeling the pressure. The important thing I need to remember is that this is a personal goal. I can’t put myself down if the results take longer than expected, or even when life is crazy and breaks are needed. This is at my pace and no one else’s. So here I go…

Love, Mama.

I'm posting my progress photos, I thinks important to take a before and after photo when I start exercising. I know it helps me stay motivative to keep going when I can results.