Why Are You Screaming?
We are now entering the terrible two’s phase. I’ve only witnessed these outrages acts of violence from afar. And I’ve realized in the past few weeks my beautiful munchkin is now a terror. I know it’s not the hardest part of raising a child but it’s really uncomfortable. She’s too young to be disciplined and too old to get away with bad behavior. I feel like this is where we begin to model her into a little brat or a well behaved child.
I remember the time of relaxing lunch dates, and our long shopping trips to target. Our bonding time and now a distant memory. Now, I dread going to eat with our munchkin. I loath our target trips. Why you ask? Because of the ear piercing screams of an unhappy 18 month old. Sitting her in the cart is like she is being murdered. I’m pretty sure all you moms out there know what I’m feeling when she throws herself on the bacteria infested floor. I feel like everyone in the store is judging me. Like “why is she letting her baby act like that?” Or judging me for correcting the behavior. I don’t spank her but I do tell her to stop acting like this in a stern tone.
These outbursts are not new. As you can recall in my Happy Little Trees post we’ve gone through this when she was in an uncomfortable situation. Her thing now is doing this whenever she doesn’t get her way. She hits me for the weirdest reasons. It’s embarrassing. I definitely recognize the stare I get when people see her hit met. I hate to say this but I’ve given that look to parents when their kids hit them. I want to apologize to those parents. I know now that it’s not their fault their kids beat them. What do you do in that situation? When she does this I just tell her to stop and the response is more defiance. She gives me attitude. She stands in front of me with an angry expression and lips puckered. And she grinds her teeth while muttering baby talk. I’ve tried translating it, and pretty sure she’s telling me to “stop it.” I know when I’m being scolded and that’s exactly what she’s doing. How in the hell did I allow this to happen?
When we go to a restaurant, she doesn’t want to sit in the highchair anymore. This girl wants to run around or jump on the table. I tell her in a calm tone “no baby, you have to sit down.” I believe that baby’s feed off your energy so I try to play it cool. I tell her again. That’s when she lets me have it. The scream that makes you cringe and sends chills down your spine. Awful sound. It could be just I’m a new mom but I swear I see all heads turn towards me and my misbehaved child when she does this. She is on the verge of losing her outing privileges. I want to leave her with grandma because of her attitude and tantrums.
My husband and I are at a loss of what we should do to correct this behavior. It’s funny because before she was born my husband was all for spanking, you know “I will never let my child act like that, I’ll hit a child.” It sounds bad and nowadays kids aren’t spanked like we were growing up so you could understand why he felt that way. But I don’t think he’s ever spanked her. Not even a little pow pow. I’m the one that gives her pow pow when she smacks me right in the face. And now when I say pow pow she turns and does it to herself. Pow pow has no affect on her. This little girl has daddy wrapped around her little finger. He’s always giving into her which would explain why she’s worse when he’s around. She smacks him every time he tells her no, she throws herself back and straightens her body so she can slip right out of his hands. She foams at the mouth while big tears run down her face. She definitely has her act down when daddy is around.
I know why he gives in to her. He gets embarrassed, and maybe worried about how her tantrums reflect us. I found myself trying to control an outburst at target the other day and I told her “let’s go to the the toys, do you want a toy? Mommy will get you a ball.” Does the screaming stop? No. Does she get up and acts like a normal child? No. But she says yes to the damn toys. I’m thinking to myself, I’m going to buy a ball for this brat? It really hit me that I’m doing something wrong here
We need advice, when is it good for us to start discipling her? I don’t mean putting her in time out because that doesn’t work she gets up and walks away. Help!