Things Have Changed This Time Around

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am pregnant. I’m 8 weeks and I’ll I be on my way to 9 by the time this post goes live. I’ve been MIA for a few weeks because I couldn’t decide on how I was going to announce this pregnancy, I definitely want to do something cute involving Emerald. I know a few people are anxious to find out if this I.U.I cycle worked, and it’s getting harder to ignore them when they ask me about it. So that’s why I’m coming out with it. You can understand why I haven’t confirmed it.  I’m worried just like any mother that’s in the first trimester. I know doctors recommend waiting until after the first trimester to announce a pregnancy for obvious reasons but since I’ve be open about our infertility journey, I don’t see the point in trying hide it. Regardless of what happens I’ll be sharing the news with all of you anyways so I figured it’s about time I said it out loud.

I’m going to divide this post into two parts, simply because I want to explain in detail whats been going on. I didn’t want to torture you guys by making this post long, since there’s a lot of information. A lot has happened from the last time I posted. 

So let’s get started.

I started testing four days after the I.U.I as I mentioned in a previous post. I wanted to see when the trigger shot was completely out of my system.  I was testing every day, and there was only one day that the line was really faint. But after that the line kept getting darker and at one point it came up faster than the first line on the HPT. So I called my doctor to setup my lab tests and a few days later I went in for blood work. I didn’t wait the full two weeks.  I was three days early when I went in for my blood work so my HCG levels weren’t as high as I thought they’d be. A few days later they had me go in again for another blood test.  They wanted to see my HCG levels increase as they should be at this point. At my first HCG test, my levels were 168 and then two days later it increased to 496. Once I saw the results I knew it was time to schedule a follow up appointment as I did with my first pregnancy. I expected to go in and  speak with my doctor about what was next, but that wasn’t the case. 

There were more tests. 

There were more tests. 

A few things have changed this time around. One is my husband hasn’t been as involved as he was when we were trying to conceive Emerald. I have been going to most of my appointments alone, feeling scared and insecure without him. And I can’t understand why I feel this way, I went into this knowing he wouldn’t be able to leave work for every appointment and I was ok with that, or so I thought. I honestly thought I was stronger, and I thought I could do this alone but I was wrong. But just because I admitted to needing him more than I did initially, it didn’t change the fact he’s still unable to attend important appointments. So knowing I wasn’t going to have that support this time around added to the stress I was already under because of how my doctor appointments were scheduled.

I was released from the infertility clinic once my blood work came back showing I was indeed pregnant. Which surprised me because with Emerald I had two ultrasounds; one at 6 weeks and one at 8 weeks at the infertility clinic. So you can imagine how frustrated I was when I was told there wouldn’t be an ultrasound until I had my first doctors appointment with the regular OB-GYN after 9 weeks (I didn’t ask why, nurses tend to have an attitude when you question their instructions). I wanted to see what was going on in my uterus, I feel as women we have the right to request an ultrasound. It’s stressful enough being pregnant and then to be in the dark for so long, it’s ridiculous.  Why do we (women) have to wait so long to see how our pregnancy is progressing? I understand I’m not a doctor, but is it really necessary for hospitals to give women who are expecting such a hard time when they ask for an ultrasound?  I don’t think it is. I’m stressing out for 8 weeks, and the one thing that can calm my nerves is an ultrasound, so why not just give me an ultrasound? All we want is to see how everything is going.  Is that too much to ask? We’ll see what happens at my first official doctors appointment in a few days.

To be continued...